Toddler Tips: 5 to 15 Months

January 12, 2001

Mealtime: Prayer & Socialization

There is a hierarchy of relationships in the family & at the meal table:

1. God is the center of your family
2. Human relationships are next beginning with the marriage, then children
3. Our relationship with nature is third & this includes feeding ourselves

Figure: "Reflecting God's Image in Three Relationships."
Since God is the center of the family, start mealtime with prayer.
Mealtime is also a time of socialization with the whole family.
Transition your child to the meal table for socialization:

under 6 months - when possible, have child in an infant seat near the table
6 - 12 months - feed before each meal & give finger food when at the table
12 months - the family eats together Mealtime: Foods & Skills

Introduce solids at 4 - 6 months.
Taking food from a spoon may take 3 to 4 days.
Introduce cereal first, then vegetables & finally fruit.
Once serving multiple solids at a meal, serve fruits last since they are sweeter.
Start 50% diluted clear juices at 6 months in a sippy cup & pulp juices at 1 year.
Self feeding finger foods in a high chair can begin at 4 -6 months.
This helps develop the grasping reflex & transitions to feeding independence.

Mealtime: Manors

Proactively teach rather than restricting their behavior later.
For example, teach them from the start where to put their hands when eating.
It is easier to train & give freedoms later than to restrict from bad habits:

flipping the plate
dropping & throwing food
playing with food
messy hands in the hair
banging on the tray

standing in the high chair
arching the back
spitting raspberries
screaming

Communication

Vocabulary is learned first by understanding, then speaking & then reading.
At 6 to 12 months a child can cognitively communicate but cannot verbalize it.
Communication often starts in the form of whining for food.
Whining prior to 15 months indicates limited vocabulary.
As an alternative, teach sign language at 8 months for:

more
please
thank you
all done Playtime

Playtime can be structured time alone, time with the family & free time.
Structured alone time in a play pen & later bedroom fosters focusing skills.
The play pen is also used as:

a portable bed when away from home
a safe environment when taking a shower, unloading the car, etc.

Time with the family includes reading, bathing, walking & physical touching.
Free play time in a play center is completed with clean up with the parent.

Discipline

Parental discipline is similar to God's discipline of His children (Heb 12:3-10).
While discipline is painful, it yields character (Heb 12:11).
Parents are commanded to instruct & discipline their children (Eph 6:4).
Consider the overall factors of your child's situation:

the commonness of the offense
the context of the moment
the child's age
the general characterization of their overall character

First time obedience is immediate, complete, without challenge & complaint.
Improper methods of instruction include:

repeated threats
bribes

manipulation
persuasion

Following are 5 principles of instruction:

1. If you ask for an answer or action, expect immediate & complete response.
2. Never give a command unless you intend it to be obeyed.
3. Be consistent, it produces security & freedom.
4. Require eye contact when giving fact-to-face instruction.
5. Always consider context.

Context protects against legalism & the neglect of wrong behavior.
Instruction may be directive or restrictive.
Help them do directive instructions at first & give verbal encouragement.
Use a sequence of disciple with restrictive instruction:

1. verbal reprimand, a firm "no" (remember, most things are an unspoken "yes")
2. isolation - a toy free crib
3. loss of privilege (or toy)
4. light squeeze or swat of the hand

Set boundaries not to abolish freedom, but to give it within manageable limits.
In a power struggle, the parent is forced into a "must-win" situation.
After verbal reprimand, leave the child so they can surrender with dignity.
Baby-proof the house to preserve safety & valuable items.
Don't baby-proof to eliminate all restrictions in the house, train them instead.

Napping & Sleeping

At 8 months, a morning & afternoon nap are all that is required.
At 20 months the morning nap can be dropped.
A happy wake up is fostered by the parent determining start & end times.
A child may need 5 minutes of comfort to transition from sleep to wake time.
Sleep props like a night time bottle, pacifier & thumb sucking can be addictive.